Zenande Mpame, a male survivor of domestic abuse, has spoken out after years of silence, calling for better police training and greater public education on how to support male victims. Mpame revealed he endured abuse for three years before seeking help and highlighted the stigma and expectations around masculinity that often prevent men from reporting such violence.
“I kept silent for three years, and I am healing from the trauma of it. I was thinking that I cannot be the only man ever to be experiencing something like this,” Mpame told the Daily Voice.
He described an encounter with police where officers found him injured and sleeping on a bench but did not respond effectively. “When a policeman walked up to me one day while I was sleeping with a bloody face on a bench, they didn’t know how to respond to what I was saying, so they just left me to sleep there. They knew where I stayed but never even went to investigate,” he said.
Mpame advocates for comprehensive education starting at school level about domestic abuse from all perspectives and for the training of public officials on how to manage cases involving male victims. “More education at school level about domestic abuse from all sides and training in each of the parastatal structures on how to deal and handle situations that arise like this,” he said.
He urged society to reject harmful stereotypes about masculinity that discourage men from seeking help. “A man who reports abuse is not weak. A father who admits that his relationship with his child or children has become frightening is not a failure,” Mpame emphasised.
Research supports the challenges male victims face in reporting abuse. A 2019 BMJ Open systematic review identified barriers such as fear of disclosure, perceived threats to masculinity, low confidence, and negative perceptions of available services. The study also highlighted the critical role of confidential and professional support services in encouraging help-seeking among men.
South African studies echo these findings. A 2025 academic article noted that stigma and fear of ridicule lead many male victims to underreport abuse. Another study found that men experienced weak responses and ridicule from law enforcement and courts when they sought help, compounding their reluctance to come forward.
According to Statistics South Africa’s 2025/26 Governance, Public Safety and Justice Survey, 2.5% of men aged 16 and over who experienced psychological violence identified a spouse or intimate partner as the perpetrator, compared with 8.4% of women. While this indicates that men are less frequently victims of such abuse, the numbers also reflect underreporting.
Mpame’s personal story, as reported by the Daily Voice, has not been independently verified by police or official sources, and no formal police or court records have been publicly confirmed. The specifics of his police encounter remain unverified.
His call for improved awareness and empathetic treatment of male domestic abuse survivors on the part of the authorities and public is part of a broader push to recognise and address the needs of all victims regardless of gender.
The Cape Flats News team will monitor developments in policy and community responses related to male survivors of domestic abuse and report further as more information becomes available.